Back in the saddle again!

Hello everyone!

Well, I think it has been over a month since I have published anything on this blog sight. My motto is "slow progress is better than NO progress"! :o)

I am partnering with my two friends in weight watching and exercising. This is day 3...my goal this week is to journal everyday. So, far so good! I haven't eaten perfectly, but at least I am holding myself accountable!

Exercising is the next hurdle. I have had a lot of pain in my back and shoulder so I am finding it uncomfortable to workout...I think my lack of activity is contributing to this pain. I pray that I God will grant me the strength I need to do what needs to be done!

I am realizing that this all about my willingness to surrender to the Lord. I can not do this on my own. The Bible promises that in my weakness He will be the strength that is needed. Any success that happens will be all for His glory. I have tried and tried and tried...with NO success at all. This is not something I can do. It has got to be all God.

In saying that, I wonder, what does it mean if there is still no success? Does God want to leave me this way? Is it simply my fault again...not being able to truly turn things over to God. This is where the frustration with my weight problem begins. I start over analyzing everything and then...I want to eat something! What a terrible vicious cycle!

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

I like this prayer, but really it will not be me changing anything. I think I need to spend more time with my Father...getting to know Him better, and letting Him show me who I am in His eyes. I know that is scary for me...I don't like what I am afraid I will see--short comings.

Well, that is enough of my rattling thoughts for now. I will be back again before a month has past. God bless us in our endeavours!

Workout

So I workout with the boys in the gym. It wasn't the most relaxing workout, but I still burned 350 calories. The boys found the water cooler and spilled a river of water on the floor, and pulled 2 foam things off the weight machine. O'well, I worked out. I hope tomorrow I will have a babysitter for 30 minutes. :) Nothing is going to stop me from loosing this weight and getting in shape. Even if I have to take them with me every time. Don't worry I will take them in the double stroller and then it is just Sammy who has to sit still. He can do that.

Another great sweet treat I love is Jello brand sugar-free pudding cups. Only 60 calories and they are so good. My favorite is the carmel one. Yummy and all the chocolate ones. I am very open to any suggestions for low calorie, low carbohydrate snacks. I love chocolate if you couldn't tell. (Low carb is considered less than 15 carbs per serving for me as a diabetic.) Thanks for your help.

Keep it up

I have been really working at my weight loss again for two full days, and here we are on day three. It has been a struggle and it seems harder today for some reason. I haven't given in, but I keep thinking about chocolate and ice cream (also the french bread we have sitting in our kitchen left over from last night.) I want to go workout so that I can get it out of the way, but I have a little problem, three little kidos that have no one to watch them. :) I am debating about taking them over to our gym and seeing if they can survive 30 minutes in there with me. There is a TV with cable and I think it even has a DVD player. I want to not have any excuses. And yesterday when I waited to workout at 5pm, I was already so tired and hungry for dinner. It made it much harder to get my full 30 minutes done, but I did it!!! I have been averaging about 2000 calories a day. I need to cut it down even more, but I don't know where to start. I have cut back a lot, I can't even imagine how many calories I was eating. All I know is I loved it when I was loosing weight and my clothes started to get loose and I had more energy, I could really use that right now. More than anything, I loved that I actually was loosing the weight. Even though I had the opposite reaction to loosing weight with my diabetes, my blood sugars went crazy high. I don't care even if it happens again. I will be healthier and happier if I am much thinner. I need to loose about 130 pounds at least. Right now I am going to work on the 30 pounds. Thank the Lord for sugar-free Jello!!! I love it, and it helps me in my moments of weakness, well that and cool whip. I also love the Atkins bars. Only a few of them are super great though. The one that is covered in peanuts, the coconut one and the chocolate covered carmel and peanuts one. They taste like real candy bars and they have helped me a lot. They are low and carbohydrates, so they keep my blood sugar down. Lately I have been experimenting with kettle corn too. Well, I think I am going to give working out with these monkeys a shot. I will let you all know how it goes.

Finally DOWN

This is a really quick post just to say that I have lost 3 lbs. this week! It is a small start. I have been much more active this week. If I continue AND get my eating under control...next week looks to be very promising! I will be out of town for a big convention...I will have to make some definate plans before leaving on that trip.

More to come...

I did it!!!

I made it through the entire day without any candy. I even worked out this morning and my blood sugars have been low. I am so glad. I will save money on insulin and be healthier. Even when my blood sugar was really low and I needed something sweet to bring it back up, I took glucose tablets and waited for them to take effect, as apposed to stuffing my face. Tomorrow I hope for an even easier time avoiding the sweets and exercising. I am going to have to work on cutting the calories more. I ate about 2100 calories today, minus 399 calories working out. I want to be closer to 1500 calories. Fight the fat and burst the bubble.

No more sweets!!!

All the candy and sweets are gone from my house. Well, just about. We have a few cookies left, and some egg nog, but I have a feeling that TJ my dear sweet hubby will eat whats left when he gets home tonight. I just keep noticing how many parts of my life need work. Right now I must concentrate on finances and my weight. I see how these two areas of my life are connected. I realize that this is going to be difficult for a few days, but I do believe that it will get easier everyday. Tomorrow I plan to make a big batch of sugar-free jello first thing in the morning. I also plan to go work out nice and early and get it down with and out of the way. If it is nice enough I will take my boys to the park. They love the park and I love it for two reasons. First, it keeps me away from munching on food all day, and second, my house doesn't get messy from them playing. I feel very optimistic about sticking with this eating plan. That is easy to say as I sit here finishing off all the jelly belly's I have on hand. This is the best time to do this though, because I don't have any money to buy anymore. LOL That is great news. I am also going to work on making the older kids go into their room earlier in the evening so I have the chance to unwind before going to bed. All the jelly belly's are gone!!! Don't worry there weren't to many to start with. Tomorrow it is all about apples, exercise and not spending money. Whoo hoo!!! I can do this. Watch out jello.

The Plan

It is always easy for me to look back at the day and see everything that I ate wrong. Maybe because I am stuffed full of junk. Tomorrow is Sunday, and that means doughnuts and muffins and hot cocoa as temptations at church. Last week I was very proud that I made it through the morning without giving in. Tomorrow I plan to do the same. I also know that TJ is home until 2:30 and that means no excuses for not working out. It may even help me in other areas, like frustration and getting time to myself. I plan to go to my gym for 30 minutes tomorrow. I may not spend the entire time on the torture machine, but I will spend some time on it. I am beginning to feel a strange pain in my hands and my feet that I know can only be caused from bad blood sugars. But as I get my life in order including my budget I hope that it will help me feel the motivation I felt last year when I was first diagnosed. It was easy for me to make the excuse last year that I was doing it for my baby, but what about me? It is time to do this for me. I feel encouraged every time I talk to someone who has had diabetes but they lost the weight and it went away. I want that to be me. I just hope that some of the problems with my blood sugars is attributed to me seizure medication. To a better tomorrow.....